Christmas Means Pantomime Time
By Charles S.P. Jenkins
When I was a kid, Christmas meant a visit to Father Christmas and going to the Hackney Empire to see the pantomime. The panto was a great event, and my parents closed their pie ’n’ mash shop on Christmas Eve to avoid the many belligerent drunks celebrating the season and we went to the panto. We always dressed up in our best clothes since this was a very special occasion.
Pantomime is a peculiarly English invention and basically a spectacle of song and dance woven into the flimsiest of stories. The plot (such as it is) is based either on a fairy story or a nursery rhyme and especially written for the production. Panto is produced with children in mind and is meant to be fun. All pantos have the same basic principal characters with names suited to the story. They include the Principal Boy, the Principal Girl, the Dame, the Villain and, occasionally, the Fairy Godmother. It is the casting that seems strange to those not familiar with this art form.
The Principal Boy, who might be Aladdin or Prince Charming, is played by a girl. He is always dressed in a short upper-body outfit, but no matter what the plot, he will always be in tights so as to show off her shapely legs. The Dame is an outrageously dressed, overly made-up and overweight woman. She is a figure of fun and always played by a man. His dress accentuates his breasts and behind, which are of outrageous proportions thanks to the strategic placement of balloons. Naturally, the balloons always burst, bringing much delight to the audience. In spite of the exaggerated attire and make-up, there is never any mistake in thinking that the character is not a man in disguise since little is done to change his voice. Playing the Dame was once the highlight of a comedian’s career, and many have bloomed in the role. The Dame appears with a stooge, as a foil to her jokes and tricks. The Principal Girl, unless she is the title character, such as Cinderella or Snow White, is a minor role and played by a girl. Imagine that! Panto requires an antagonist or Villain who is played by a man and who is determined to bring about the end of the hero. This serves as the major part of the story.
The storyline of most pantos follows a basic plan: the title character finds himself either wanting something that is out of reach, such as a desire to attend a ball or else money to feed his family. He finds himself at the mercy of some loathsome creature such as a wicked stepmother or a character of fantasy such as the King of the Rats or a wicked enchanter. You get the picture!
Villains are vital to panto, as they generate crowd response. The King of the Rats was my favourite Villain. Chorus girls doubled as his subjects and looked provocative with elongated ears, long whiskers and exaggerated tails that swayed as they scampered about the stage. The Villain, complete with long billowing cloak, roared and blustered foul torment to the hero, generating loud hisses from the audience. As soon as he added “Oh yes I am” to his threats, the audience would yell back
“Oh no you’re not!” As the banter passed back and forth, the kids became very involved and a few young children always had to be carried out. My father used to call out with great gusto much to my mother’s embarrassment.
My favourite panto was Aladdin. Here the sets were exotic and the chorus girls wore coolie hats and short smocks to reveal their legs. The Dame is called Widow Twankey and is the mother of Aladdin. Although the Dame complains about her son, the audience always knows he will not disappoint her at the end. Nothing in a panto is ever truly a surprise to anyone unless they are very young or unless they came from another world, which generally means from anywhere outside Britain!
The story of the panto moves along in fits and starts, as there are many of the usual music-hall acts that perform before a backdrop that doubles for the Court of the Emperor of China. These include tumblers, jugglers and a magician. Several young audience members join the magician to help with his act. These rich kids always came from the best seats much to the annoyance of those in cheaper seats and were heartily booed as they made their way to the stage. Despite this momentary loss of good manners, the jovial and festive mood of the audience returned and everyone continued to have fun.
Eventually the Villain captures the hero and locks him in a damp, dark dungeon or puts him in a cave. Meanwhile, the hero’s torment is worsened by the sounds of thin sheets of metal being waved to simulate thunder together with the flashing of the stage lights to simulate lightning. Once the Principal Boy is safely imprisoned, the Villain takes off with a roar of exaggerated laughter to either amuse himself by dancing at a ball or collecting the treasure. This is greeted with more jeers. With the hero incarcerated and seemingly without hope, the curtain is rung down leaving the audience to wonder if the hero will escape a fate worse than death. And while they ponder, they enjoy some ice cream.
A panto is never complete without a good-natured companion for the principal character. This is an animal of sorts, which may be a horse named Dobbin or a cat imaginatively called Puss. George M. Cohan, the great American vaudevillian, remarked that when it came to casting actors to play a horse, one always had difficulty casting the front half! This character consoles the Principal Boy when he is convinced he will never overcome his obstacles. The animal or perhaps a fairy godmother or a genie living in an old lamp points the way out to the Principal Boy who, quick as a flash, seizes upon it and escapes from his prison where he has been locked up to wither away while the Villain is having fun.
Having escaped the Villain’s shackles, he sets off and manages to arrive in the nick of time to save the Principal Girl from a fate worse than death. This always involves a sword fight with the Villain causing great excitement in the children (and my father when he was alive). During the battle, much leaping over props and near misses occur where all looks lost for the hero. Such demonstrations of daring and skill bring loud oohs and aahs, together with shouts of “Look out!” and “Behind you!” Eventually, good triumphs and the Villain yields. The Principal Boy claims the treasure, the hand of the princess is thrown in for good measure and the Dame admits she always believed in her son. And everyone lives happily ever after.
The show ends with the cast coming on stage to take their bows and the audience showing great appreciation to them, with the Dame and the Villain receiving the loudest applause. Most of the older members of EastEnders have appeared in panto and Nigel (remember him?) appeared at the Hackney Empire a few years back. Barbara Windsor will appear this year as Fairy Bow Bells in Dick Whittington. (She may have given up EastEnders but she’ll never give up panto!) Kat would make a great Cinderella, but would need to be more genteel at the palace! Now imagine, if you can, Phil Mitchell as the Villain! Dot and Pauline were born to be Fairy Godmothers, and Derek would be a perfect Dame!
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